At the beginning of every year, so many of us feel some sort of pressure to create a big, bold, impressive resolution. To use this “clean slate” to start over and create newer, prettier, shinier versions of ourselves.
Well, not me. Not this year.
To me, a clean slate means washing away all of the hard work I have put in, it means forgetting about how far I have come, only to focus on starting over. Right now, the last thing I want to do is start over. In fact, I want just the opposite. I want to celebrate who I am and where I am; I want to jump up and down and show the world my accomplishments. This year, I want to carry my “dirty slate” on my back so everyone can see why sometimes I’m exhausted, and overwhelmed, and have big piles of laundry waiting to be done, and eat Chipotle more than any normal person should. The truth is that my dirty slate is what has gotten me to this point; the long days, the countless road trips north, the seemingly bottomless cup of coffee constantly in my hand, the friends and family I have been blessed with, the late night glasses of wine, the happy tears along with the sad ones, the triumphs and the tribulations, the shining moments and the not-so-shiny. These are the things etched forever into my slate, and there is no way anybody is taking them away from me-not even on the dawn of a brand new year.
So, I wont be newer, I won’t be prettier, and I wont be shinier this year. But I will be wiser, stronger, kinder, and smarter. Its all coming with me: the good, the bad, and the ugly. This year, instead of starting over, I am adding on. I can’t wait to see where it takes me.
In this new year, I resolve to make myself happy; to spend more time doing the things that I love and being with the ones that I love.
In this new year, I resolve to not get caught up in the race to get life done faster; to slow down and just breathe.
In this new year, I resolve to embrace the struggle; to enjoy the not-so-pretty moments when real-life happens.
In this new year, I resolve to be exactly where I have spent the last twenty-four and a half years getting myself; to let go of the constant need to be more and do more, and to instead be content with and proud of where I am and how far I have come.
In this new year, I resolve to just simply be. To be happy, to be healthy, and to be me. The same me I was last year, and all twenty-three years before that. I have worked hard to be this version of me, and this year, I am not going to try to change it.
2016, I think you just might be my favorite year yet.
Photo taken by my very talented friend, Jason Carroll.